THESE are the poems I have written through six months of soul searching. Over time, I come to realize that some things about me must be changed for the better. Please feel free to comment.^_^
Once I was a Creeping Thing
(July 17, 2011)
Once I was a creeping thing, that showed a softened heart,
I wore a smile so bright and thin but tore the worlds apart;
A creeping thing, whose face was shining, gleaming in the day,
But then at night this creeping thing would eat your hearts away.
Just like that creeping thing I was when lying on a sheet,
I rolled and stumbled on that sheet of granules of saline;
And when the sun woke up that day and shone its glaring ray,
I groaned when pain and agony tried to take my life away.
Out into the World
(July 24, 2011)
Once I lived in a temple
but I decided to leave,
for I hate earthworms—
ones it cultures.
They cause my disgust
as they dance their segmented bodies
on a floor full of mud and slime
pretending to till the foundation of the plants
when in fact it was they that create division
among trees, flowers, shrubs, and grasses.
They make us believe they are:
salts when they really despise it,
detergent soaps when in truth, they tremble at it,
light when they actually die from it.
(… may be soft as a pillow and smooth as satin,
but hard and rough like a volcanic rock is.)
So the cool breath of air has blown upon me,
A delicate seed in a solid covering;
Lying down, tucked in a slumber so deep,
waiting for earth to beckon unto me.
Out of the length of the trance I’ll wake,
rising to welcome the break of day;
greeting the rise of the sun so clear,
and surge of salt and soap without fear.
At the end of the day I’ll be standing tall,
With feet on the ground to avoid my fall;
To live out in the world for once and for all,
where no mere earthworm can ever control.
Means and Extremes
(July 25, 2011)
Ipokrita.
Sinungaling.
Bulataw.
Bulati.
Losing Heart
(August 20, 2011)
Losing heart is a heinous crime
For it takes away your life;
It lays your body down in ashes
Till you rot and dry.
Your skin will feel as cold as ice,
Your bones lose bend, your spirit cries;
So if you lose your heart, my friend,
Then that’s goodbye.
O god of my fantasies, unbind me
(August 24, 2011)
O god of my fantasies, unbind me,
Loosen my chains and let go of me,
For I am afraid what my world would be
when new ropes entwine me with another body.
O please bring me back to Alejandro’s arms
where before have I slumbered so peaceful and sound,
Bring back my garments you’ve stained with your love,
the remains of myself once regarded with warmth.
Not that I wasn’t drunk by your red-blooded wine
or I wasn’t enchanted by your mischievous smile,
but god of my fantasies, it has to end
for the real world endows me a vicious stare.
Beautiful, the world in my dreams may seem,
But untrue when I open my eyes to see.
For the God who Hides Himself
(August 24, 2011)
O God who hides Himself, what shall I speak of You?
What greatness shall I tell the world,
What deeds must I praise and worship You for,
When You are hidden, O God,
When there is nothing but the air I breathe
and the light that shines on my face?
and the light that shines on my face?
When shall I tell them how great You are?
Shall I say it in my numbness, emptiness, ignorance?
Shall I tell them in my rest, my slumber, my death:
“O how great is my God, who—”
WHAT?
I have the least of thoughts!
Or shall I shut my mouth and go,
and walk, to let them know?
For Daday
(August 28, 2011)
Warm as the sun that shines
But cold as the stinging ice,
Hard when you give your heart,
even when it falls apart.
To the whole world, your laughter brings light
as your anger gives birth to blight,
To the world you’re a welcoming arm
as you even can shut them all down.
Though the world moves to step on your head,
And send daggers to feast on your chest,
I will always bestow you respect,
For you’re the only beauty I have ever beheld.
I cried because I finally knew…
(August 28, 2011)
…that I am nothing like them
whose eyes are open
the moment I dropped my face in a pool of seawater.
…that I was a great actor that I was,
making believe that I am
Keats, Shakespeare, Chomsky,
when in fact I couldn’t even think,
bringing me back to Descartes’ remarks:
was I? Was I?
…that I was nothing but a pest,
telling myself I am the best,
while millions and millions of monstrous minds
put all their feet above my head.
…that I am tiny as an ant
eyeing people like a giant.
Then…
…that they whose eyes are open
have once groped the path I had,
that somehow I am not an island,
that I am only a growing plant.
Eye for an Eye
(August 29, 2011)
I gave you a stare and you didn’t care,
I raised you an eyebrow, you didn’t dare;
My mouth opened wide to mock your mistakes,
Blabbered like jays, still you didn’t care.
They gave me a stare that had made me cry,
Raised me an eyebrow and I didn’t know why;
Laughed at the least of mistakes I made,
Blabbered like parrots and drove me wild.
Laughter
(August 29, 2011)
They laugh because I am the only ship along the sea,
I laugh because their shallow bodies live on black debris;
I laugh because their eyes look down the level of their brains
When they laugh because they thought I’m just a silly, empty slate.
They laugh because I am the only rock among the sand,
I laugh because they stumble when the storm comes down to land;
I laugh because they’re washed away without a single trace
When they laugh because they thought they’ve weathered Mother Nature’s rage.
They laugh because I am the only rose among the thorns,
I laugh because they nurture sturdy, empty, stupid horns;
I laugh because they utter every word with empty heart
When they laugh because they thought my mind was very far apart.
They laugh because I am the only spot among the clean,
I laugh because behind they dance in every shade of green;
I laugh because they savor every sheaf they didn’t glean
When they laugh because they thought I had but nothing else to eat.
